An open letter to Minnesota: More snow, please

Oh Minnesota, why have you forsaken me?!

Dear Minnesota,

In my 27 years of existence, I like to think we've grown to know each other pretty well. I've camped in your parks, I've fished in your lakes, I've biked on your trails and -- begrudgingly -- rooted for your Vikings in good times and bad. While others clamor for the big cities, big mountains and ocean views, I've remained loyal to your river valleys, rolling hills and abundance of lakes.

I've stuck by you through thick and thin. I toughed out the Halloween blizzard of '91, pressing on for more candy in my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles costume while other trick-or-treaters cowered in your snowy wake. I've also endured your hot n humid summers year after year by keeping myself cool with regular trips to the lake and icy cold beverages in the malted hops variety.

Like a spouse in a marriage, I've grown to appreciate you for both your strengths and your shortcomings. I don't ask you to be perfect; I only ask you to be yourself

It is with that in mind that I come to you with this simple request: Enough with the wimpy weather, send some snow this way.

Most would agree that you've been pretty easy on us this winter, more so than most even. There's been an occasional cold day from time to time, but those have been lost amid a steady stream of days in the "sunny and upper '30s" variety.

Even worse, the snowfall has been substandard. In Faribault, it's been downright abysmal. My sled hasn't come out of my closet all winter and the snowshoes I got for Christmas have yet to be used. Meanwhile, friends of mine in more southern locales have been posting Tweets about snowstorms and photos of snowmen on Facebook. I even saw a post about a sizable snowstorm in -- gasp! -- Texas.

This is unacceptable, Minnesota. One of the things I've always appreciated about you is your tough-love approach to winter. While other states baby their residents with mild temperatures and brown landscapes, you barrage us with sub-zero temps and white-out conditions to toughen us up. Instead of shying away from you wintertime fury, we've learned to embrace it with activities like ice fishing, skiing, curling and polar plunges.

Heck, Paul Bunyan never complained about it being too cold in the winter. He just put on a flannel, grew a beard and started chopping wood to keep warm. If he tried to do that this winter, he'd probably die of heat stroke.

Minnesota, the fact of the matter is that we've come to expect a certain level of performance from you in the winter and you simply haven't been delivering the goods this year. Texas, Oklahoma and other wimpy southern states should not be stealing headlines for their massive snowstorms. You're supposed to be the top dog for harsh winters and even got recognized for it in a Leslie Nielsen movie.

In my opinion, your title as heavyweight champion of winter weather is in jeopardy. You're also running out of time to turn this wimpiness around. Temperatures are expected to be in the 40s and 50s this week and we're drifting closer and closer to those spring/summer months, when the expected norm switches to hot, humid temps, swarms of mosquitoes and the occasional rainstorm.

You made a solid effort to buck that trend last week with a snowstorm that blanketed parts of the state with close to 10 inches of white, powdery goodness. However, the effort wasn't consistent as Faribault got nothing but rain for those days. Instead of breaking out my snowshoes for a long-awaited maiden voyage, I went running in a long-sleeve shirt and shorts and skipped a rock across the near-flooded ditch by my apartment.

The ball is in your court, Minnesota. I know you have at least one more big snowstorm in you.

Sincerely,

The frustrated guy in Faribault who wants to go snowshoeing

It's beginning to look a lot like...mid October?

Like most Minnesotans, I enjoy seeing a little snow around the holiday season.

Snow has always been a symbol of transition for me; the point where fall definitively ends and winter definitively begins. It's the time of year when road bikes and light parkas get traded in for sleds and snowshoes. Besides, poor road conditions be damned, it's nice to look gaze upon some snowy scenery while listening to Bing Crosby's "White Christmas."

But that transition hasn't been nearly as definite this year. Despite a sizable snowstorm earlier this month, the landscape is most predominantly brown with Christmas less than two weeks away. Temperatures are projected to hover around the mid-30's for the rest of the week and the only precipitation in the forecast is (gasp!) rain. The calendar may read "December 13," but as far as weather conditions go, it may as well read "October 13."

The holiday purist in me is aggravated by this decidedly wimpy winter weather. Brown Christmases are meant for palm tree lovers in Florida, not Minnesotans who grew up on snow and hockey.

However, the exercise fanatic in me couldn't be happier with the weather. Instead of workouts taking place exclusively within the confines of a gym, I'm still able to hop on my bike or go for a run if I please. Instead of having to bundle up like this just to go outside, a light jacket or a sweatshirt are still proving to be sufficient. Aside from exercise, it's also nice being able to drive on the road without having to worry the snow and ice that are synonymous with holiday season car accidents.

I can't say that I want the weather to stay like this all winter. But considering how many months there are until spring, I'm ok with this for the time being.

Just for fun, here's a Calvin and Hobbes comic to encapsulate the mood of snow-loving Minnesotans: